Since I've had my baby things have changed quite a bit. In addition to the regular things that change (sleep, eating, social life, sex, peeing when you want, showering daily, day drinking, etc...) what I watch on TV is so much different. I LOVE the horror genre and I have on many occasions had some scary movie on at 2 in the afternoon when a friend would drop by and be a little disturbed, which I later decided was really just a veiled impressed! Obvs since I have the Bae I can't just turn on Saw 4 while she's having lunch and expect her to not grow up to be a serial killer.
Other shows I can't watch anymore include: Intervention, Hoarders, Cops, Real Housewives of anything, actually anything with the words "Wives", "Flavor", "Love", or "Tour Bus" in it. Those days are long gone, but luckily in their absence I have rediscovered the joy that is Sesame Street! This show is so delightful and hilarious, and since being produced by HBO is even a little edgy!
I have really gotten involved with these characters and have created their back stories, like Big Bird for example, who came to Sesame Street after escaping a lab that experimented on animals and was set free after some activists broke in and let all the animals loose! When it was discovered by them that he could talk, they decided to make him the face of their movement,and he went on to make several appearances at rallies all over the country. Sadly though, the activists didn't realize how much money it actually took in bird seed to keep a seven foot, 500 pound, giant yellow bird alive, so they sought out a safe place for him to go, and luckily Mr. Hooper had an enclosed area behind his store next to the garbage cans that was open.
Grover was the unclaimed love child of Adrian Brody and an Avatar, who for his own good left him on the front steps of Luis and Maria's house who raised him like their own, and he never asked any questions. He sometimes has night terrors though and is oddly attracted to anything with Sigourney Weaver related, but he is pretty happy nowadays.
Snuffleupagus of course was the result of a bad batch of shrooms that Bob took, and everyone is just kindly playing along with him about it so as not to upset that crazy old kook! Oh, and speaking of Bob, who has lived on SS for almost 45 years, he was in a cult in his late teens early 20's and the kind folks of Sesame took him in, pumped his stomach, gave him a bath and there he has remained with no memory of his former life except for the curious number 9 tattooed on his scalp.
There is one character however that I can't seem to reconcile my discomfort with, and that is Telly, aka Telly Monster.
Who the hell is this guy anyway?! What is he hiding? I mean, he's like 55 years old, right? Why is he playing with the monsters that are clearly kids? Look at the size of this dudes hands! And his voice? Don't get me started on that cigarette and whiskey, gravel gargling nightmare. Stop referring to your "Mommy" and that she gave you permission to spend time with Baby Bear, your "best friend". By the way, where the hell are Baby Bears parents and why are they letting this relationship happen? I get that BB can be a little condescending and uses big words but still has that speech impediment where he can't pronounce his R's correctly, but it's not endearing, its annoying and he should stop it.
Look, I'm not insinuating that Telly is some sort of pedophile or anything, but there is clearly something up with him and I think it's time to start asking some GD questions! And Wikipedia really isn't clearing anything up, just saying that he like triangles, has a hamster and is worried a lot. Yeah Telly, well I'm Mommy Monster and I worry a lot too...that you don't have any friends your own age. Why don't you learn to read and check out the classifieds in the paper? Maybe find yourself a decent day job and get a studio apartment in Queens or something. Maybe join a Zog Sports kick ball league and make some new friends? Take up antiquing or learn how to make your own Kombucha.
Telly, I'm sure that you're probably a good monster at heart and don't have any ill will towards the fine people of Sesame Street, but perhaps old chap it's time to move on. I don't know if you heard, but there is a bird watching group that meets every Sunday in Central Park filled with people your own age. At first they may be freaked out that you're a huge purple furry monster, but once you guys start reminiscing about the old days and ranting about JAG being cancelled, you will fall right into place.
Other shows I can't watch anymore include: Intervention, Hoarders, Cops, Real Housewives of anything, actually anything with the words "Wives", "Flavor", "Love", or "Tour Bus" in it. Those days are long gone, but luckily in their absence I have rediscovered the joy that is Sesame Street! This show is so delightful and hilarious, and since being produced by HBO is even a little edgy!
I have really gotten involved with these characters and have created their back stories, like Big Bird for example, who came to Sesame Street after escaping a lab that experimented on animals and was set free after some activists broke in and let all the animals loose! When it was discovered by them that he could talk, they decided to make him the face of their movement,and he went on to make several appearances at rallies all over the country. Sadly though, the activists didn't realize how much money it actually took in bird seed to keep a seven foot, 500 pound, giant yellow bird alive, so they sought out a safe place for him to go, and luckily Mr. Hooper had an enclosed area behind his store next to the garbage cans that was open.
Grover was the unclaimed love child of Adrian Brody and an Avatar, who for his own good left him on the front steps of Luis and Maria's house who raised him like their own, and he never asked any questions. He sometimes has night terrors though and is oddly attracted to anything with Sigourney Weaver related, but he is pretty happy nowadays.
Snuffleupagus of course was the result of a bad batch of shrooms that Bob took, and everyone is just kindly playing along with him about it so as not to upset that crazy old kook! Oh, and speaking of Bob, who has lived on SS for almost 45 years, he was in a cult in his late teens early 20's and the kind folks of Sesame took him in, pumped his stomach, gave him a bath and there he has remained with no memory of his former life except for the curious number 9 tattooed on his scalp.
There is one character however that I can't seem to reconcile my discomfort with, and that is Telly, aka Telly Monster.
Who the hell is this guy anyway?! What is he hiding? I mean, he's like 55 years old, right? Why is he playing with the monsters that are clearly kids? Look at the size of this dudes hands! And his voice? Don't get me started on that cigarette and whiskey, gravel gargling nightmare. Stop referring to your "Mommy" and that she gave you permission to spend time with Baby Bear, your "best friend". By the way, where the hell are Baby Bears parents and why are they letting this relationship happen? I get that BB can be a little condescending and uses big words but still has that speech impediment where he can't pronounce his R's correctly, but it's not endearing, its annoying and he should stop it.
Look, I'm not insinuating that Telly is some sort of pedophile or anything, but there is clearly something up with him and I think it's time to start asking some GD questions! And Wikipedia really isn't clearing anything up, just saying that he like triangles, has a hamster and is worried a lot. Yeah Telly, well I'm Mommy Monster and I worry a lot too...that you don't have any friends your own age. Why don't you learn to read and check out the classifieds in the paper? Maybe find yourself a decent day job and get a studio apartment in Queens or something. Maybe join a Zog Sports kick ball league and make some new friends? Take up antiquing or learn how to make your own Kombucha.
Telly, I'm sure that you're probably a good monster at heart and don't have any ill will towards the fine people of Sesame Street, but perhaps old chap it's time to move on. I don't know if you heard, but there is a bird watching group that meets every Sunday in Central Park filled with people your own age. At first they may be freaked out that you're a huge purple furry monster, but once you guys start reminiscing about the old days and ranting about JAG being cancelled, you will fall right into place.
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