Skip to main content

A picture tells 1000 words...

And now Parenthood Theatre presents for your viewing pleasure an improvised dramatic play entitled "My Mother is an Asshole and Won't Let Me Eat This Plastic Bag for No Reason!" Don't worry if you're not a theater person, this is a super short show with only one act and not much of an arc.

In the first scene we see our lead characters, Mommy and Bo, who are out on an evening walk with their sweet dog, Dave. Things are great at first and as Mommy and Bo make their way through the serene setting that is Valley Village on a cool, late summer evening, life seems perfect.

However things take an abrupt turn as Bo discovers the plastic bag on the leash that was reserved for Dave that Mommy was clearly keeping from her in an attempt to torture her in some way.

The next scene depicts a triumphant Bo and naive Mommy, who doesn't realize that her baby daughter has decided to put the potentially dangerous plastic bag in her mouth while Mommy, in her blissful state of of ignorance, blindly continues to take selfies with Bo, who is teetering on the edge of danger! Bo happily devours the plastic bag, gleefully mocking Mommy's lack of recognition.

Suddenly in an unexpected twist Mommy realizes that Bo is carelessly exposing herself the plastic bag of danger, and more importantly, the disgusting stigma that dog shit baggies hold, and in one swift motion saves her baby from possible harm and least of all, an embarrassing story for when she gets older in which to regale all of her future dates with.

Bo, true to form, is having none of this nonsense, and in the last and painfully longest scene of the whole play, she let's Mommy have it with the fury of ten babies who have missed their nap windows. And as the curtain slowly lowers on this harrowing scene between a mother and daughter, the message of the play is ever so clear: My mom is a total asshole for not letting me possibly suffocate on this doggie bag, and she will know it if it's the last thing I do!!!!!!

I give this production four stars and two glasses of room temp white wine.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Into Emotional Cutting? Cool, Read The Giving Tree!

If there is one thing I know about myself it is that I simply can't eat an ice cream sandwich with any sort of dignity. If there is a second thing I'm sure of, its that I am not emotionally healthy enough to handle the children's book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. That book sends me into a sobbing fit so powerful I need my inhaler to pull me out safely. Every time I open the book I am cutting myself emotionally, and this post is a cry for help. If you're not familiar with this classic let me give you the cliff notes. It's about a boy and a tree. When the boy is young he loves the tree and hangs with it all the time, and the tree is so happy. They play and he climbs and he eats her apples and sleeps in her shade. The tree even allows the boy to carve their initials into her side that's surrounded by a heart. She loved this boy so much she allowed him to brand her permanently. Things were pretty awesome for a long time, until the boy got a...

Scared Sh*tless For Your Kids Safety? Try These Alternative Solutions!

If you're a parent I bet your days are filled to the brim with utter fear and anxiety that at any minute the world will end. It's scary enough having kids and worrying they're going to hurt themselves just by falling off their roller shoes, let alone the possibility of them walking into a Chuck E Cheese on a random Tuesday and having to duck and cover because one of the animatronics with a history of violence has beef with the day manager. (How did he get hired in the first place?!) So what are we, as parents of the future generation, supposed to do to deal with all this insanity? While there are the logical and thoughtful solutions suggested time after time like, uh, how about we don't give that dude who with a Google history exclusively on "How To Burn A Cat Alive Without Making A Mess" that AR-15, ideas like that  are clearly insane and threaten the very core of all American values of being able to own ALL THE GUNS.    It seems like the only thing we can...

Holy Crap, I Have Two Kids Now!

Bo holding her little brother, Charlie, for the first time. Clearly she thinks he should be able to handle his own neck by now.   On March 26th at 4:06pm Charlie Wilder Cobb was born. He decided that his accommodations in my uterus had grown stale and that he would make an appearance three weeks early. Cheeky little fella. Since he was early no one was here to help out yet, which is why at 2:00 am that Monday morning when my water broke we made the decision that I would drive myself to the hospital. Bo was still asleep and going through the experience of waking her up out of a dead sleep would be way more painful than any labor pains I could have. It honestly seemed easier to just get myself to Cedars Sinai and figure it out later. The moment after my water broke and our new Ikea duvet cover is destroyed. While I'd like to be viewed as a total bad ass driving myself during the beginning stages of labor, the truth is it wasn't that big of a deal. See, in mo...