My daughter is two now and really taking on the toddler thing full force. Don't let that sweet face fool you, she is a diabolical genius. This means everything she does is an even mix of hilarious, terrifying, rage inducing and adorable all at the same time. To date the hardest part of being a parent is keeping my child alive and out of the harms way that she places herself in regularly. Oh, and not laughing when I say these things. Cuz dang my kid is CUTE!!! 1. " Please don't use the nettie pot to drink out of." She does this on purpose because she knows it makes me gag. It's disgusting. 2. "The dog doesn't like it when you punch him in his butt, please stop." I mean, no one likes to be punched in the butt, but a 13 pound Yorkie REALLY doesn't dig it. 3. "Please don't store the grapes in your diaper, love." Or do and I'll call Shark Tank because you're an innovator. 4. " Sweetheart, it hurts Momm