I recently broached the idea of raising Bo to be an only child and weighed my feelings about it in addition to assessing how I felt about other people's feelings about it.
I mentioned in that post that my own mother, Carol, is an only child, and I wanted to get the low down on what it's like to grow up as the only, and a couple of extra, super hard hitting questions to set the tone.
Enjoy!
1. Hi there. I understand you are in fact Amy's mom. What was that like?
To be totally in love with this tiny creature who amazes you more and more and more each day, each year. From the first successful nursing to the first bite of mashed banana, from the first smile, and step, and word, all the way through Delilah Dix and Assistance. And beyond!
2. Amy recently gave birth to baby girl named Bo. What are your true
feelings about her name?
Her name is brilliant! “Bo,” with the requisite long vowel sound. The simplicity that states, right up front, “I’m here and I’m not some prissy girlie girl.” And don’t get me started on the Caroline part, which seems to get lost in the shuffle, but that’s OK because we’re so honored by it.
3. So, it's likely that Nick and Amy will only have the one kid, making Bo
an only child. You're an only child, right? What was that like? Do you have
any memories of being an only child?
There was something a little “off” about being an only-child, at least back then when contestants on “Queen for a Day” got the most applause when they said they had seven or eight kids. My mom wasn’t able to have more children, and the culture made her feel “less-than.” I felt bad for her about that.
But I knew I was special as an only child. Privileged. Not having to share toys and shit. BUT I bet ALL only-children long for a sibling. I know I did, even when I recognized that I had a good gig, being the only one to get all the love and all the stuff.
I had a few cousins. Suzy was exactly my age. She came over every Sunday because her parents were active in the Quaker church right across the street. She inevitably broke my shit. She was annoying. I was glad when she left. What an asshole.
Today I asked my friend Jeanne, also an only child, how she felt about it. She confirmed what I said: All through growing up, she wished for a sibling. She had a baby cousin, the closest she got to a sibling. When she held him for the first time, she said, “I like him better than cottage cheese.” (Jeanne really likes cottage cheese.)
My memories are of playing alone in my room, of playing in the neighbors’ fields, alone. It was quiet. Not like my friends’ homes. Being outside at night in a snowstorm, watching the heavy flakes in the car headlights. Alone.
But, I had friends down the street, and we were old enough to go back and forth without parents around. Two boys, Gary, a year older than I, and Wayne, a year younger than I. So I wasn’t alone all the time.
Wayne was sorta girly, even then.
4. Amy has gotten some interesting comments when others learn that Bo will most likely be her only kid. Some have even gone as far to say that Bo will grow up to "be an asshole" because she's the only child. What are your thoughts? Do you think "only child syndrome" is a thing? Do you agree that
only children can be different than kids with siblings?
I think some kids are assholes anyway, whether they have siblings or not. That’s because their parents are probably assholes.
There is a lot about the way the world works that you can only learn from having a sibling. I witnessed the conflict my friends had with their siblings, and was grateful to avoid that. But dealing with that conflict teaches you a lot of skills in the world. I missed out on that entirely, and, instead, had a loving mother who gave me everything I asked for, no questions asked.
That getting-of-everything-you-want is not that healthy. If you have no experience of having to compromise with other people, you aren’t a real player in the world. So that leads you to not fight for yourself adequately, or it leads you to be a fucking asshole trying to get what you want.
5. How do you think your life would have been had you grown up with
siblings? Do you feel like you missed out on anything? Or gained any
insight?
Yes, definitely I feel I’ve missed out on a huge life experience. I have to assume that my sibling(s) who came after me would be smart and well-loved and secure and so we would all be a happy family forever. I don’t have any understanding of what it would be like to be the subsequent child, however.
I also missed out on the possibility that my siblings would be fucking assholes, in which case I wouldn’t have anything to do with them, sorta like Dad and Uncle Bill.
6. What's your favorite swear word?
I quite enjoy referring to people as “fucking assholes.”
7. What are your feelings on the "Millennial Mom/Parent" style of
parenting?
I actually don’t know what that means. But millennials have access to so much information that we didn’t have. I guess the co-sleeping thing is one millennial idea, right? I’m grateful that you have so much information about nutrition, for instance. I regret giving you a lot of processed food for most of your meals. But we didn’t know any better. And then, of course, with Gramma—she let me practically live on 7-Up, along with white bread sandwiches (crusts ALWAYS cut off!) and cereal, to which I added an ungodly amount of extra sugar. But I digress….
8. *extra credit question: Is Amy the favorite out of both your kids? And
let's not waste time with the whole "I love you both the same" bullshit,
because we all know that's nonsense.
No, I don’t love you both the same. I love you both differently. And the miracle is that you guys both are amazingly loving and talented and creative human beings.
However, I’m happy to confess that you are my favorite daughter, as Brody is my favorite son.
I mentioned in that post that my own mother, Carol, is an only child, and I wanted to get the low down on what it's like to grow up as the only, and a couple of extra, super hard hitting questions to set the tone.
Enjoy!
1. Hi there. I understand you are in fact Amy's mom. What was that like?
To be totally in love with this tiny creature who amazes you more and more and more each day, each year. From the first successful nursing to the first bite of mashed banana, from the first smile, and step, and word, all the way through Delilah Dix and Assistance. And beyond!
2. Amy recently gave birth to baby girl named Bo. What are your true
feelings about her name?
Her name is brilliant! “Bo,” with the requisite long vowel sound. The simplicity that states, right up front, “I’m here and I’m not some prissy girlie girl.” And don’t get me started on the Caroline part, which seems to get lost in the shuffle, but that’s OK because we’re so honored by it.
3. So, it's likely that Nick and Amy will only have the one kid, making Bo
an only child. You're an only child, right? What was that like? Do you have
any memories of being an only child?
There was something a little “off” about being an only-child, at least back then when contestants on “Queen for a Day” got the most applause when they said they had seven or eight kids. My mom wasn’t able to have more children, and the culture made her feel “less-than.” I felt bad for her about that.
But I knew I was special as an only child. Privileged. Not having to share toys and shit. BUT I bet ALL only-children long for a sibling. I know I did, even when I recognized that I had a good gig, being the only one to get all the love and all the stuff.
I had a few cousins. Suzy was exactly my age. She came over every Sunday because her parents were active in the Quaker church right across the street. She inevitably broke my shit. She was annoying. I was glad when she left. What an asshole.
Today I asked my friend Jeanne, also an only child, how she felt about it. She confirmed what I said: All through growing up, she wished for a sibling. She had a baby cousin, the closest she got to a sibling. When she held him for the first time, she said, “I like him better than cottage cheese.” (Jeanne really likes cottage cheese.)
My memories are of playing alone in my room, of playing in the neighbors’ fields, alone. It was quiet. Not like my friends’ homes. Being outside at night in a snowstorm, watching the heavy flakes in the car headlights. Alone.
But, I had friends down the street, and we were old enough to go back and forth without parents around. Two boys, Gary, a year older than I, and Wayne, a year younger than I. So I wasn’t alone all the time.
Wayne was sorta girly, even then.
4. Amy has gotten some interesting comments when others learn that Bo will most likely be her only kid. Some have even gone as far to say that Bo will grow up to "be an asshole" because she's the only child. What are your thoughts? Do you think "only child syndrome" is a thing? Do you agree that
only children can be different than kids with siblings?
I think some kids are assholes anyway, whether they have siblings or not. That’s because their parents are probably assholes.
There is a lot about the way the world works that you can only learn from having a sibling. I witnessed the conflict my friends had with their siblings, and was grateful to avoid that. But dealing with that conflict teaches you a lot of skills in the world. I missed out on that entirely, and, instead, had a loving mother who gave me everything I asked for, no questions asked.
That getting-of-everything-you-want is not that healthy. If you have no experience of having to compromise with other people, you aren’t a real player in the world. So that leads you to not fight for yourself adequately, or it leads you to be a fucking asshole trying to get what you want.
5. How do you think your life would have been had you grown up with
siblings? Do you feel like you missed out on anything? Or gained any
insight?
Yes, definitely I feel I’ve missed out on a huge life experience. I have to assume that my sibling(s) who came after me would be smart and well-loved and secure and so we would all be a happy family forever. I don’t have any understanding of what it would be like to be the subsequent child, however.
I also missed out on the possibility that my siblings would be fucking assholes, in which case I wouldn’t have anything to do with them, sorta like Dad and Uncle Bill.
6. What's your favorite swear word?
I quite enjoy referring to people as “fucking assholes.”
7. What are your feelings on the "Millennial Mom/Parent" style of
parenting?
I actually don’t know what that means. But millennials have access to so much information that we didn’t have. I guess the co-sleeping thing is one millennial idea, right? I’m grateful that you have so much information about nutrition, for instance. I regret giving you a lot of processed food for most of your meals. But we didn’t know any better. And then, of course, with Gramma—she let me practically live on 7-Up, along with white bread sandwiches (crusts ALWAYS cut off!) and cereal, to which I added an ungodly amount of extra sugar. But I digress….
8. *extra credit question: Is Amy the favorite out of both your kids? And
let's not waste time with the whole "I love you both the same" bullshit,
because we all know that's nonsense.
No, I don’t love you both the same. I love you both differently. And the miracle is that you guys both are amazingly loving and talented and creative human beings.
However, I’m happy to confess that you are my favorite daughter, as Brody is my favorite son.
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