Your dreams realized...you're welcome!

In addition to writing brutally honest thoughts, fears and events that mom's experience, I also have cultivated a dream blog. That's right, I made your weirdo dreams come true!

I made an instagram dedicated to babies wearing wigs. You're welcome!!!

https://www.instagram.com/babiesrockingwigs/

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My Dad

Yesterday, July 5th, my dad, Richard Albert, died. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 12 years ago and from that developed an insidious type of dementia called Lewy Bodies, which causes a lot of physical issues and accelerates the Parkinson's decline. Basically he was served a shit sandwich with a side of fuck my life. My dad was a quirky guy with a weird sense of humor. He used to play with me by chasing me around the house with a hammer and pretend he was going to smash my little toes. He would pack our lunches with a dog treat that he carefully tin foiled so when we would open it up at lunch all the other kids would laugh and scream. He made us waffles with ice cream in the middle for breakfast and ONLY creamed corn for dinner. He drank buttermilk from the carton. And prune juice. He was private. He would take hour long poops just to be alone and think. He was a scientist and mathematician. He was always trying to work out these insanely impossible to solve equati...

Five Things I'm Forgiving Myself For In Motherhood/FTS

I am so fucking tired right now you guys. As I type this I'm sitting on my filthy couch that's covered in various kid juices and secretions, several stuffed animals, ancient cracker crumbs and a variety of hair. The baby is sitting in his vibrating chair to my left. He's cooing and smiling in between fits of whimpering because he wants to breastfeed. He's cluster feeding, which is a sweet euphemism for "sucking the life out of my once perky breasts". As I try to give him a binky, he smiles at me, which melts my heart, then projectile barfs through his baby grin onto my last clean tank top. My three year old is digging into a box of cereal that I didn't know we owned. Where did she get those chocolate peanut butter Cheerios? She is sticking her hands in and out of the box, coating them in sugary goodness, then letting the dog lick her hands. If that wasn't gross enough, after he's done sopping up all the probably-really-bad-for-dogs flavors off ...

Hi, my name is Amy, and I am a garbage mom.

I happen to be a part of the greatest Facebook mommy group of all time. It's filled with successful, interesting, hilarious and strong women who have kept me going on many an occasion. I can reach out to them about anything parenting related, no matter how small or embarrassing, and in almost every situation I get positive responses that are encouraging and helpful. Why does this qualify as the greatest mommy group of all time, you ask? Because this mommy group is a rare gem amongst the cubic zirconia's of social media life. It's an online community of women who actually support each other rather than tear each other down. More importantly, it's other moms who have been though the shit and we all can acknowledge that we are what is lovingly referred to as a "garbage mom", and I love them so much for it! The term "garbage mom" is thrown around a ton in my mommy group, and I heard it again today as I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts...

holycrapimyourmom

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