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Let's begin at the beginning...

Seems appropriate to start at the top, right?

First of all I had the idea for this blog during the second trimester of my pregnancy with my daughter, Bo, who is now 1.

I was naive to think I would continue on being all cocky and cunty about being a mom. I would declare "Look, I'm going to have this kid and still live my life!" to anyone that would listen. "This kid is going to adapt to my schedule and be a comedy kid!" I would chortle. My sketch team, The Mutiny, an LA based group I'd been with for about two years at this point would nod and smile, sort of amused, sort of uneasy. "I will fucking do sketch and comedy with this kid on my tit FOREVER!!!"

I had NO IDEA. None. At all. Not about how hard it is to be a parent, because it is. It's so fucking hard. And not about how much my life would change, because it does exponentially. Nope. The truth is I had no idea how much I could love this human person who came bursting out of my body like an overly eager mascot at a freshman rally.

The love I feel for my kid...is not that. Love is not big enough. There needs to be another word invented for how a mom feels about her baby. It's powerful and all encompassing. It's tangible and terrifying. It's everything you've ever wanted and never knew you needed.

It's also exhausting and boring and irritating. Your body is wrecked and your butthole(in my case) will never be the same. You pee when you laugh or sneeze for several weeks, and your nipples look like old worn out shoes.

And it's all so fucking worth it.

So why am I, after a year of my kid being alive, starting this blog? Well I'll tell you Mister/Misses computer person! Because even now, after a year, I can't believe I'm in charge of raising, tracking, bathing and feeding this other human person and it's totally okay?!!! Like, no one asked for any of my references at all! And I've done some shit! Some embarrassing shit and some illegal shit!  No one wants to at least run my name through a data base or something to clear that this is cool for me to take this perfect baby home?

No one?

Okay. Im leaving then. With this baby. To my home. Where I will raise her. Forever. Seriously...no one has any questions?

In a nutshell, I'm a comedian married to a comedian. It doesn't get more intensely neurotic than that. We fell in love, got married, moved to LA and had a baby. We live in a one bedroom apartment in The Valley and sleep in the living room on a futon because the kid has taken over our lives. We also have a dog named Dave.

And I still can't believe I'm a mom. I think there are more of us out there. Struggling with our formers selves while elbowing other moms in the face to cut in line for the pre-school pre-sign up two year long waiting list.

This blog is for you.

All my love,

Amy


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