Skip to main content

Bloody Mary Podcast/Apology




I'm sorry it's been so damn long since I've posted anything. Truth be told I never have six seconds to myself ever. I'm not kidding.  I'm typing this while wearing Charlie, who has barfed on me twice since I opened my computer. I mean, he's cute and stuff, but holy shit can this kid puke! He's def gonna make his goal weight. Meanwhile Bo is watching Despicable Me 2  in the living room, but keeps screaming "MOMMY! HELP!" And when I run in to check on her, she says "HI!"

I thought when people said it was much harder with two kids they were being silly. They weren't. More on that....soon. I hope.

Anyway, I wanted to post about this fun podcast I did about moms who kill, just in time for Mothers Day!
It was the only time I left the house that week. Freedom, as it turns out, tastes a lot like the two vodka sodas I slammed once I knew I would be in front of grown up's for the first time in a while and could take an Uber with no car seats!


It's called the Bloody Mary podcast and its hosted by two fab women, Lauri and Maria.

Here's the link:

http://bloodymarypodcast.libsyn.com/website

Please listen. Subscribe. Then call me. Or come over. And help me take care of my kids.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A "Geriatric Pregnancy" aka "Wow, You Must Be Old As F**k!"

Recently at a store I frequent I had an interaction with the checker I always chat with. He's a nice guy, young, stoned, friendly. For a dude who's constantly baked his memory is impeccable. He always asks about my daughter, and our dog, Dave, and wants to hear about the thing I told him I was going to do the last time I saw him, etc. You get it. Just as I was about to say goodbye he asked if he could check out my engagement ring, since he was in the market and wanted some ideas! And even though I fucking hate it when other people do this, I squealed and jumped up and down a little bit. It seems it's an involuntary response. I asked about his girlfriend. Dude: "She's super cool, very chill for a Caucasian." Me: "Oh, that's good. Most white people are the worst." Dude: "She's like a hippie chick, but not a Vegan or anything." Me: "Thank God." Dude: "And she wants to have kids one day, which is awesome!

My Dad

Yesterday, July 5th, my dad, Richard Albert, died. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 12 years ago and from that developed an insidious type of dementia called Lewy Bodies, which causes a lot of physical issues and accelerates the Parkinson's decline. Basically he was served a shit sandwich with a side of fuck my life. My dad was a quirky guy with a weird sense of humor. He used to play with me by chasing me around the house with a hammer and pretend he was going to smash my little toes. He would pack our lunches with a dog treat that he carefully tin foiled so when we would open it up at lunch all the other kids would laugh and scream. He made us waffles with ice cream in the middle for breakfast and ONLY creamed corn for dinner. He drank buttermilk from the carton. And prune juice. He was private. He would take hour long poops just to be alone and think. He was a scientist and mathematician. He was always trying to work out these insanely impossible to solve equati

Scared Sh*tless For Your Kids Safety? Try These Alternative Solutions!

If you're a parent I bet your days are filled to the brim with utter fear and anxiety that at any minute the world will end. It's scary enough having kids and worrying they're going to hurt themselves just by falling off their roller shoes, let alone the possibility of them walking into a Chuck E Cheese on a random Tuesday and having to duck and cover because one of the animatronics with a history of violence has beef with the day manager. (How did he get hired in the first place?!) So what are we, as parents of the future generation, supposed to do to deal with all this insanity? While there are the logical and thoughtful solutions suggested time after time like, uh, how about we don't give that dude who with a Google history exclusively on "How To Burn A Cat Alive Without Making A Mess" that AR-15, ideas like that  are clearly insane and threaten the very core of all American values of being able to own ALL THE GUNS.    It seems like the only thing we can