Asshole Parents Plane Episode Featuring Me and Husband

Here's one of the episodes of Asshole Parents on Awestruck that we shot, Plane Shame. Enjoy!

What are you tales of travel with they little ones? Share them here!

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My Dad

Yesterday, July 5th, my dad, Richard Albert, died. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 12 years ago and from that developed an insidious type of dementia called Lewy Bodies, which causes a lot of physical issues and accelerates the Parkinson's decline. Basically he was served a shit sandwich with a side of fuck my life. My dad was a quirky guy with a weird sense of humor. He used to play with me by chasing me around the house with a hammer and pretend he was going to smash my little toes. He would pack our lunches with a dog treat that he carefully tin foiled so when we would open it up at lunch all the other kids would laugh and scream. He made us waffles with ice cream in the middle for breakfast and ONLY creamed corn for dinner. He drank buttermilk from the carton. And prune juice. He was private. He would take hour long poops just to be alone and think. He was a scientist and mathematician. He was always trying to work out these insanely impossible to solve equati...

Five Things I'm Forgiving Myself For In Motherhood/FTS

I am so fucking tired right now you guys. As I type this I'm sitting on my filthy couch that's covered in various kid juices and secretions, several stuffed animals, ancient cracker crumbs and a variety of hair. The baby is sitting in his vibrating chair to my left. He's cooing and smiling in between fits of whimpering because he wants to breastfeed. He's cluster feeding, which is a sweet euphemism for "sucking the life out of my once perky breasts". As I try to give him a binky, he smiles at me, which melts my heart, then projectile barfs through his baby grin onto my last clean tank top. My three year old is digging into a box of cereal that I didn't know we owned. Where did she get those chocolate peanut butter Cheerios? She is sticking her hands in and out of the box, coating them in sugary goodness, then letting the dog lick her hands. If that wasn't gross enough, after he's done sopping up all the probably-really-bad-for-dogs flavors off ...

Dear GOP-Stay the Fuck Away from my Daughters Uterus

I started having sex when I was 15 years old. I lost my virginity to some dude from a neighboring town of the Minnesotan suburb where I was living at the time. To this day I can't recall his name, but I think it started with a B...or an R. It was a letter of the alphabet for sure, so I'm a little closer to solving this case. I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. I was a Varsity cheerleader, had hideous clear brackets for my braces, and met this guy at the Mall of America in line at the Hot Dog on a Stick. He was 18 and we humped in the front seat of his '89 Corolla (how sad is that, right? I can remember his shitty car but not his name?!) after dating for a couple of weeks. We didn't use a condom, it was painful and irresponsible and the worst. Thinking back on that now I don't know why I was so eager to rid myself of that pesky old hymen, but apparently I felt strongly that it was holding me back. Evidentially it was, as I went on to have sloppy, un...

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