holycrapimyourmom

Becky was my first editor at one of my freelance writing jobs for AfterParty Magazine. She's not only kind and lovely, but just an all around badass. I feel so lucky to know her even a little bit, and honored she would write something for this blog. So without further adieu, ladies and..ladies (probably), here it is! I’m Trying to Raise a Son Who’s Not a Dick By Becky Sasso I’m not gonna lie. The day I found out I was pregnant with a boy I cried all the way home. Until that day I was certain my baby (which Pinterest told me was about the size of an avocado or apricot or some shit) was a girl. I had all kinds of fantasies about how I would be the most strong, positive, badass mom to a girl ever. I would finally have a captive audience for all my hard-won wisdom about how to do a perfect French braid and being a woman in a country that basically doesn’t give a shit about you unless you are a white man. My fantasy daughter and I would rock matching hairstyles and she would be a...

Dear Mr. Trump, I, like every other human woman on the planet, think you're pretty disgusting, and with this weeks leaked tape of you bragging to Billy Bush about how you're so famous that you can just grab women by their pussies, and they're totes okay with this, have only furthered our feelings of utter disgust. However, I'm grappling with the whole "grabbing" a pussy thing. Not only because it's abhorrent and pathetic, but because I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the mechanics of it.  You see, Mr. Trump, vagina's, pardon me, pussies, are pretty hard to grab. They're innies, not outies. You have an outie, sir, which is a lot easier to grab, but in order to "grab a pussy" I imagine you'd have some challenges. I've been really thinking about this, making diagrams and conducted a series of experiments on this subject, and here are my findings.  In order to really "grab" a pussy one must not onl...